How Far I Have Fallen
by SyberiaWinx
Summary: Trapped and knowing death is near, she longs for wings like the butterflies, but knows she can't have them now. As she searches bleakly for an escape, she remembers the past and what could have been...
1. Prologue

**How Far I Have Fallen**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill-I don't own Fatal Frame.**

**Prologue**

Have you ever wondered what it's like to die? Does your spirit float up out of your body and look down on the whole scene? Do you see your life flash before your eyes? Does time seem to slow or even stop?

And what happens after you die? Do you become a ghost, wandering this world for whatever reason? Is there some kind of "afterlife" waiting for you? Ot do you just cease to exist altogether?

Does death hurt? And if it does, is it a quick pain and then nothing? Or is it long and excruciating? Maybe there is no pain and you are gone before you even realize it?

These are question we all ask ourselves at least once in our lifetimes. We want to know, yet we fear what answers we may receive. This is the story of a village that thought little of death until it stared them in the face. They could sacrifice others with no remorse for their own sake, but would feel very differently when it was their turn to die.

Yet even though few who lived in this village ever asked questions like these, they all got their answer quicker than they had ever expected. One seemingly unimportant death would lead to the death of many. And an entire village would become lost, along with all who lived there…lost perhaps forever…

Though I am trapped here all alone, I can see it all in my mind. I always did have a sixth sense. Now I'm beginning to wish I didn't. I can see what is about to happen, yet I can do nothing to stop it.

I know I will meet my end this ominous night, along with everyone else, though I cannot yet see where and how. Still I shall try and look for a way out of here, so that tragedies like this are not repeated. How I wish I were like the butterflies hovering outside the window…then I could just fly away from here with them.

But I am not a butterfly. And I never will be. Yet I can't forget that time. And as I search for an escape, I cannot stop my memories from drifting back to those days that were so long ago…


	2. The Remaining Tears

**How Far I Have Fallen**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill-I don't own Fatal Frame.**

**Chapter One: The Remaining Tears**

_She chose to walk alone_

_Though others wandered why_

I was only about five years old when I met Kanna. My twin sister, Mina, and I had been playing tag in our festival kimonos, which were red with gold butterflies printed on them. Our long black hair hung loosely around our faces.

Our parents were inside celebrating with their friends, cheering that the festival had been a success. We had been told that every ten years, this special festival was held. During this time, crimson butterflies could be seen throughout the village. And if the festival was a success, then all would be well.

We were just kids then, so we really didn't understand what the adults were talking about. To us, the festival was just a time when we got to wear pretty kimonos and play outside at night, thanks to the red light emitting from the wings of all the butterflies.

Mina was "it", so I was running as fast as I could to try and keep away from her. She was not very fast, but I did not want to take any chances. I ran up the hill near the Osaka house-the one Mommy and Daddy always told us not to go near.

At first, I did not see anyone up there…just a creepy well with claws around it and a Shinto gate. Then I saw a girl standing at the edge of the hill, where it overlooked the village. Her back was to me, so I moved a little closer to see if I knew her.

The girl was a lot older than me, but I could tell she was not as old as Mommy and Daddy. She wore a plain white kimono with a red sash, and her long hair was completely white! Her eyes were cast upwards, gazing with longing and sorrow at the butterflies dancing freely against the ebony sky. Tears glittered on her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" I could not help but ask.

She did not seem startled by my presence, but only replied: "Because I do not have wings."

"Why do you need wings?"

"My sister has become a butterfly. If I had wings, I could find her and be with her forever." She smiled at me through her tears. "My name is Kanna Tsuchihara…What is yours, little one?"

"Risa Kiryu."

"Risa Kiryu…" she repeated. "You have a twin sister, too, don't you?"

I nodded. "Yes. Her name is Mina, and she is a few minutes older than me. I love her this much!" I spread my little arms out as wide as I could.

Kanna chuckled. "I loved my twin sister, Kiara, that much too. We promised we would always be together, but I was unable to keep that promise. Now she is a butterfly, and I will never see her again. And someday…someday, your sister will know this feeling…after she makes you into a butterfly."

My eyes had widened as she said this. "I'm going to be a butterfly?"

"Yes…ten years from now, when the next festival is held, you two will take part in the ceremony to save the village. As of now, you are the eldest and only twins in the village…" There was a pause before she spoke again. "It is getting late, little Risa…You should hurry home before your family starts to worry."

"But…What about you, Kanna? What will you do?"

She smiled. "I've been asking myself that same question since the ritual took place. I finally know what I want-I want to know the freedom of the butterflies…I want to know the freedom that Kiara feels now."

I just stood and watched her. Was Kanna going to become a butterfly like her sister? Right in front of me?

"I can't become a butterfly, but…" She spread her arms out wide. "At least for a moment, I can fly-fly away from here to Kiara." With a smile on her tear-streaked face, she let herself fall forward.

I watched Kanna's body quickly slam into the ground below with a sickening cracking sound. There was a lot of commotion-villagers gathering around her, shaking their heads sadly and talking amongst themselves. I ran to where they were and pushed through the crowd to where Kanna lay.

Many of the women were crying over her broken body. I smiled as brightly as I could. "Don't be sad! Kanna flew away to her sister!"

The next thing I knew, my mommy was there, pulling me away from the crowd. She carried me home and put me and Mina to bed.

"Mommy?" I asked.

"Yes, dear?"

"Am I going to be a butterfly someday?"

She seemed surprised by my question. "Y-yes…Someday, Risa, you and Mina will participate in the ceremony, and you will become a butterfly. It's a great honor."

I beamed. "Oh, wow! That is so exciting!"

Mommy smiled and left the room, still looking a little shaken by the events of the night. I turned to my sister. "Did you hear that, Mina? I'm gonna be a butterfly someday!"

Mina started to cry. "What about me? I wanna be a butterfly too, so we can be together!"

I hugged her. "Don't worry! If you promise to make me into a butterfly, I promise I will make sure to stay close to you always."

"Really?"

I nodded.

She wiped her eyes and smiled. "Okay then! It's a promise!"

_Refused to look before her_

_Kept eyes cast upwards towards the sky_


	3. Twin Dreams

How Far I Have Fallen

**How Far I Have Fallen**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill-I don't own Fatal Frame.**

**Chapter Two: Twin Dreams **

_She didn't have companions_

_No need for earthly things_

How quickly time passes…Though it seemed like just yesterday when I met Kanna and watched her fly, it had already been ten years. My sister and I were dressed in identical sky-blue kimonos printed with swans, white flowers pinning up our now even longer black hair-mine on the left, Mina's on the right. We were celebrating our fifteenth birthdays today, and nearly the whole village was at the party.

Mina and I were not the only twins in All Gods Village anymore, nor were we the only twins at the birthday party. The six-year old Tachibana twins-Itsuki and Mutsuki-were adorable, black-haired boys. They were sitting together away from everyone else, playing some sort of game. Sitting with them, were the twin five-year-old daughters of the Ceremony Master-Yae and Sae Kurosawa. They looked nothing like me and Mina had as kids, as their hair was much shorter than ours, and they were very pale. Since the day there were born, Sae and Mutsuki were destined to become butterflies, just like I was going to later this year.

Halfway through the party, I found myself standing on the bridge that connected my house with the Tachibanas', staring up at the sky. It was something I had done a lot since meeting Kanna. The bridge was the highest place I could stand in the village, since I was forbidden from going near the hill where Kanna had flown. I couldn't wait until Mina made me into a crimson butterfly…Then I could soar through that bright blue skies and dance among the cloud, though never straying to far from my beloved sister.

"Risa?"

I did not have to look to know that it was my twin who had come up beside me. She leaned her head on my shoulder. "Soon you will a butterfly, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"What do you think will happen during this ceremony? Mom told me that we will be cleansed right here at home and next-door, then taken to the Kurosawas', but she won't tell me anything more than that. How will I make you into a butterfly?"

"I'm not sure…but I can't wait."

Mina made me look at her. I could see the concern in her eyes. "You haven't forgotten your promise, right? Even after you become a butterfly, you won't leave me…right?" She sounded so scared and uncertain.

I took her hand in mine and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Don't worry. I promised to stay with you and I will."

She smiled. "Thank you, Risa."

Later that night, after we were finally in bed, I had a strange dream. There were two little identical girls of about eight years, standing hand-in-hand. They looked a lot like Mina and I had as kids, but their bangs hid their eyes in an eerie fashion. The kimonos they wore looked exactly like the one I remembered Kanna wearing, but the red sash around their waists connected them to eachother and was glowing like the crimson butterflies. Suddenly, one of the girl's hands was around the other's neck.

A white-haired teen was crying alone in room I recognized from the Tachibana house.

Twin girls with short hair, about my own age, were running along a narrow path, one lagging behind the other. A loud scream pierced through the air.

Suddenly, one of the girls was hanging by her neck from a Shinto gate and being thrown in a large, square-shaped hole. Darkness exploded from the hole, spreading to consume the entire village, until everything was covered in black.

I awoke screaming and frighteningly cold. In a flash, my sister was by my side, asking me what was the matter. I just shook my head, telling her it was only a nightmare. She looked skeptical, but did not ask me anything more about it, instead turning her efforts to trying to comfort me. After awhile, I was calmed down enough to lie down and try and get back to sleep.

Such a horrible dream…I was not sure what it had meant and not sure I even wanted to know. It was probably nothing more than a nightmare, but I still couldn't shake the bad feeling I had.

_She only wanted freedom_

_From what she felt were puppet strings_


End file.
